Family
Steller Jay
A beautiful afternoon on the cliffs above Manzanita, Oregon. I’m sitting on the second floor deck of this three story house which is built right into a steep slope, perhaps 60 degrees steep, nestled in amongst the trees, ferns, and undergrowth. It’s clearly a haven for birds, as I’ve seen at least a dozen species from the deck alone, ranging from hummingbirds, to crows, to the magnificent blue and black Stellar Jay. There are few sounds of people up here, just a rare faint shout of a child playing on the beach a few hundred feet below. Mostly it’s the birds, especially the jays, a bird whose call is as harsh as their feathers are beautiful. They seem to have a full range of sound, but their favorite seems to be a rat-a-tat-tat sound, which to human ears seems to be their sound of supreme irritation. Then there is a bird with a high pitched sighing sound, a simple sound that is almost painfully loud from maybe 40 feet away. It starts unbelievably high and on the western scale falls about four notes in two seconds. Underneath it all there is the rustling of leaves in the wind and the constant crash of waves against the shore below.
Cetta is staring at me from her bed at my feet, something she only does when hungry. Apparently the pangs are mild, as she hasn’t gotten up to scratch my leg yet.
I’ve been wanting to write about my daughter for quite some time, as she has been virtually absent from the pages. I know there will come a time when she will find these pages, and she will certainly notice how out of balance the family comments are, most of them clearly dealing with my son.
On the surface, the reason is obvious, as Alex has had 11 operations, she has had none, academics seem a relative breeze for her, while he required so much assistance in school that supporting him seemed a full time job.
But life isn’t lived at the surface, and while she knows the challenges Alex has faced, there were challenges for her as well.
I want to conclude before I even get started by saying she is also much more private than Alex. With that in mind I have left her off these public pages, respected her desire to share her thoughts as she sees fit in other places. I hope she knows that she is always in my thoughts and will always have my love. Her hopes and her fears, her challenges and her triumphs are as important to me as Alex’s, my love and respect for her as strong as any I have ever felt. I know there are times that her needs have placed second to those of Alex, to say otherwise would be a lie, even then, she was in our thoughts.
So much more to say.. but I’ll try to tell her in person instead.
